A portrait shows what something looks like. This is an attempt to display a godly husband by our friends at the Association of Biblical Counselors.
A godly husband is fully submitted to Christ. He loves his wife sacrificially. He seeks diligently to understand his wife. He lovingly teaches her the truth of God’s word both overtly and through his conduct. He is concerned about the spiritual well being of his wife, and prays for her and with her on a regular basis. He does not rule over his wife or family; instead, he is there to serve not be served. Even as he leads, he is the biggest servant in the family. He follows through on his commitments to his wife and children. He finds joy in serving his wife and family.
He takes seriously his responsibility to lead and shepherd his family knowing that it is to the Lord he must give an account. He listens attentively to his wife so as to grow in his knowledge of her. He realizes his wife is not “one of the boys” and treats her with gentleness at all times. He places the interest of his wife above his own.
“A GODLY HUSBAND IS RULED BY CHRIST AND PLACES HIMSELF COMPLETELY UNDER JESUS’ AUTHORITY.”
He is self-controlled, not easily angered, kind, and humble. He is not ruled by alcohol or other forms of intoxication. He does not indulge ungodly passions; instead he buffets and disciplines his body to bring it under the authority of God and His word. He is ruled by Christ and places himself completely under His authority. He is not wise in his own eyes but relies on the wisdom of God as revealed in His word. He does not lean on his own understanding. His decisions and actions flow from his study and meditation on God’s Word, rather than from his own desires.
“A GODLY HUSBAND USES HIS SPEECH TO EDIFY AND BUILD UP HIS WIFE AND CHILDREN. HE GUARDS HIS TONGUE, USING IT FOR BLESSING RATHER THAN CURSING.”
He takes great pleasure in his wife’s body and makes love to her joyfully, frequently and unselfishly and is faithful to her. He recognizes that his body is not his own but also belongs to his wife. He uses his speech to edify and build up his wife and children. He guards his tongue, using it for blessing rather than cursing. He joyfully and abundantly provides for the financial needs of his family. He praises his wife to her and others and treats her as a precious treasure. His life reflects the fruit of the Spirit as found in Galatians 5. He is a God-pleaser not a man-pleaser.