A portrait shows what something looks like. This is an attempt to display a godly marriage by our friends at the Association of Biblical Counselors.
A godly marriage is one in which both husband and wife love and celebrate Christ in their hearts and relationship. In addition, both husband and wife seek daily to die to self and live for Christ. Personal agendas are submitted to God’s agenda as both spouses seek to be controlled by the Spirit of God rather than by their flesh. Neither partner clings to their “rights;” rather, they both realize that they are under the authority of God. Their unity is not based on likes and dislikes or other “compatibility” issues, but on the fact that God has joined them together. They seek harmony through “putting on the mind of Christ.”
“THEIR PRIMARY GOAL FOR EACH OTHER IS THAT THEY REFLECT CHRIST AND HIS LOVE.”
When they are having problems, they first consider where they have been wrong.
After they have confessed and repented of their area of responsibility, they prayerfully and lovingly seek to bring their partner to a right place before God. Both partners are willing to consider their sin, repent, and are ready to forgive the sins of their partner. They use their words to encourage each other in the faith. They are not critical or demeaning to each other in any way. Their primary goal for each other is that they reflect Christ and His love. This takes precedence above personal agendas for their partner. They consider it a privilege and responsibility to assist each other in their spiritual growth. They evaluate their love for each other based on 1 Corinthians 13.
“THEY WORSHIP TOGETHER, ARE FAITHFUL IN CHURCH ATTENDANCE, AND READ SCRIPTURE AND PRAY TOGETHER REGULARLY.”
They take time to build and grow their relationship. The marriage takes precedence over every other relationship (excluding their relationship with Christ), including kids and parents. They are loyal and faithful to each other and do not allow any person to come between them. They make their physical relationship a priority and are affectionate with each other and make love frequently and joyfully. They worship together, are faithful in church attendance, and read scripture and pray together regularly. They do not treat their faith as a private matter but share freely with each other.